two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
