just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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