I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
