dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
