Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
