i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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