We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
