can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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