3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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