you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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