so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
