Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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