I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
