we're blogging at a bar
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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