yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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