Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
