my phone needs a breathalizer
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
