East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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