before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
