Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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