No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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