That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
