the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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