She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
