the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
