I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
