i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Randomize
