if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
