Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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