I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hippo gnu deer
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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