cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
