I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's just like the Real World with babies
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
