did you get engaged???
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
