I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
