Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
