I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
