Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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