I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
