Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
