i would punch a child for taco bell
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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