We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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