got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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