Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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