This is not my ceiling
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
