Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
