he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
