Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
