Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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