We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
