Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
