she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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